January 12, 2017- Thursday

January 12, 2017 - Thursday
I am on the back side of a severe cold. I have been hacking so hard Don asked me "are
you trying to cough up a dog?"
Jo and Jan will be here in about 4 hours. I hope their trip has been uneventful.
Sister Clawson came into our office just a-laughing. Someone had sent her the
following: IMPORTANT FACTS TO REMEMBER AS YOU GROW OLDER:
Death is the #1 killer in the world
Life is sexually transmitted
Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet
and they won't bother you for hours, weeks, maybe years.
Health nuts are going to feel really stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of
nothing.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world look weird. Now they world is so weird,
people take Prozac. to make it look normal.
Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.
Someone sent the following to me and we had a good laugh:
So, I got my concealed gun permit yesterday. . . And went over to the Bass Pro Shop to
get a small 9mm pistol for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun and
bullets, the cashier said "strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to
the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring
to how I should place my credit card in the card reader. I've been asked to shop
elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
I still don't think I looked that bad!
Don is a terrible speller and usually asks me to read what he has written for accuracy.
One day he was filling out a report for the Church and he wrote we are deepening the
well in a certain community. But he used the word deeping. I corrected the error and
he questioned me. I told him I didn't think deeping was even a word. We looked it up
and became hysterical! As mom use to say "it takes two to make one"